Have you ever asked yourself if the "normal" symptoms you experience are actually normal?
“Why doesn’t my body want to poo?”
“Why has my body stopped sweating?” (or "Why does my sweat smell terrible?"
“Why am I always so tired and grumpy?”
“Why can’t I think straight?”
“Why do I keep waking up between 1am and 4am?”
“Why am I so puffy, swollen, and inflamed?”
“Why can’t my body ever seem to clear an infection?”
“Why am I so sensitive to any and everything?”
If these^ sound like you, then I've got some good news and bad news for you.
The bad news is that these symptoms are NOT normal. They mean that your body is struggling to eliminate its waste. 😬
The good news...
is that these symptoms are ones I help clients address everyday by teaching them how to flush their funnels.
(Their drainage funnels.)
If you live in America today, you may be one of the 6 of 10 adults who has a chronic illness.
This^ statistic can be explained by the novel toxin burden faced by humans today.
Modern life is literally booby trapped with toxins.☠️
86,000+ toxic chemicals
circulate in our environment and are tracked by the EPA.
98% of basements
are water damaged, and 45 million US buildings have unhealthy levels of mold.
170 million people
drink radioactive elements in their tap water.
>>There is an evolutionary mismatch between our evolved physiology and the hyper-novel toxin load we deal with every day.<<
When you consider this, your instinct may be to push detox as fast as you can.
But, take it from me (I’ve seen it time and again), that approach always backfires.🙅♀️
While detox is a trendy term, and “cleansing” regimens abound, many of them go about it in completely the.wrong.way.
Making mistakes like…
Jumping straight into antimicrobials when you are not pooping!
Focusing too much on the gut and neglecting the rest of the drainage funnel.
Juicing, fasting, or focusing or other "fad" modalities that leverage restriction.
And perhaps the biggest mistake of all…
...is *failing* to begin with drainage before you detox anything at all, and *failing* to carry the drainage therapies with you while you detox. 🤦♀️
…Making these mistakes^ can and will leave you feeling worse than when you started.
(Read: you don't "react to everything" you have a clogged drainage funnel.)
You need to support your body’s pathways for toxin elimination first. ☝️
You need to pre-tox your detox.
Think of your body as a house with trash that it needs to move out.
What if your infrastructure for waste disposal was broken?
- Trash bags and trash cans with holes in them
- Curb bins that leaked
- And a dump truck that only comes to collect the trash once every blue moon.
Do you think you could still keep a clean house?
The same thing happens in your body.
If you start pulling toxins out (trying to clean your house), and there’s no place for them to go, they pile up.
And that could heighten the very symptoms you’re trying to improve.
For this reason, an effective regimen for detox starts with drainage.
Opening up your drainage pathways is a process that involves 5 separate drainage players, best thought of as a funnel.
Each level of the funnel flows into the levels below it.
So we need to follow a very specific order for opening the drainage funnel, in order to avoid back-flows.
Back-flows = Symptoms
But when we flush your funnel the right way...
It means your body can finally start eliminating it's toxin backlog.
And lowering your toxin load is the best route back to feeling your best.
…your body were more resilient to going out to eat more, traveling more, and getting out of your comfort zone.
…you didn’t have to worry about over-reacting every time you left your "safety bubble."
…you could feel real energy again, down to the cellular level.
…having a set of tools to lean on whenever you felt run down, “flarey”, or like you might come down with something.
Imagine if there was a way to tackle your drainage with skill and nuance so that you could finally *kick* annoying symptoms and move to the next level of your healing - all in one month's time.
...Enter Funnel Flush©!
The only step-by-step roadmap to DIY your drainage in 30 days.
So who made this thing?
Hi, I'm Lucy Nepstad, creator of Funnel Flush©!
I'm a Root Cause Practitioner who helps autoimmune and digestive clients to get at the toxicity that suppresses their healing through intensive detox.
You'll find me regularly nerding-out on personality tests, a good David Attenborough doc, weird and ugly animals (I'm looking at you, toads!) - and all things mitochondria!
My greatest joys are my health and freedom— and helping others to reclaim theirs. Let's get you off the couch and into the world.
WHY I CREATED THIS:
This is years in the making. I've translated the most efficacious methods I've used in my private practice to start clients out with easier detox.
Drainage is how we get there. It's the single most important yet overlooked step on the roadmap back to health.
This is what drove me to package my exact step-by-step system that I'm sharing with your inside of Funnel Flush.
With personalized assessments, organization checklists, video tutorials, and a proven, step-by-step system, I've got you covered.
Heck, even if you're brand new to detox, this will be a quick win that you can build on!
More resilience is within reach.
Let me help you get closer.
PRAISE FOR LUCY:
"Lucy is incredible! I am in awe of the energy that comes with moving past constant pain, and the freedom that comes from not being afraid of food/eating for the discomfort it may cause. I truly didn't realize how much my unhappy gut was inhibiting my lifestyle until I started to feel better. I will be forever grateful for her guidance and support!"
"After testing for mold and heavy metals 5 years ago, I have been searching for help everywhere. I went from doctor to doctor, but each one just put me on a bunch of supplements. I probably spent $5000 or more over the years. A few weeks into Lucy's program and I was off of almost all of them and feeling better than I had in years. After years of searching I feel like I finally have hope that I can heal."
What's inside of Funnel Flush©?
Funnel Flush walks you through the first step of The Mitochondria Mastery Map - our signature roadmap to health.
Supporting your drainage health will ensure you can complete the rest of the map with minimal issues, and will also lay a foundation that we'll carry through every proceeding step.
Most clients find that their symptoms improve 50-70% after just this initial step.
In short? Drainage is the most important aspect of root cause medicine.
Let's break it down...
MODULE 1: DRAINAGE 101
Let's DIY Your Drainage!
We'll kick things off by laying down some drainage basics.
What's the difference between drainage and detox?
Who are the drainage players?
And how will we support them?
You'll get to know all about our signature Flush Your Funnel process so you can feel confident and competent in our approach.
MODULE 2: THE B-FOURMULA
Here you'll meet our signature DIY drainage supplement strategy, The B-Fourmula.
This 4-pronged approach covers the:
- and biofilm
...for comprehensive drainage support from bottom to top! Including our trusted products, dosing, and guidance for special populations.
Learn what makes our approach so unique and my best tips and tricks to ensure it all goes smoothly.
MODULE 3: THE COLON
Here we kick off our drainage player education with a look at what exactly drives chronic gut issues (hint: it's not the microbes).
We'll talk about the need to reframe our thinking on the gut to be more aligned with a root cause paradigm.
You'll take The Colon Assessment to determine your unique need for colon support, then implement the solutions in our proprietary Constipation Kit accordingly.
With walk-through videos on breathwork, ilocecal valve massage, and meal plans to make you poo, you'll be eliminating like a boss by the end!
MODULE 4: THE LIVER + BILE
Here we're taking you through all three phases of liver detoxification and emphasizing the central role that the bile plays with them all!
You'll take The Liver + Bile Assessment and use the tried and true Liver Lover Solutions Kit to address your findings.
What place do modalities like castor oil and fat selection have to in liver health? By the end of this module you'll know!
MODULE 5: THE LYMPHATIC SYSTEM
"How does the lymph system move?" The answer may surprise you.
We'll explore the prevailing theories on this subject and then cover comprehensive strategy that accounts for all sides of the issue in the signature Charge Up and Flow Solutions Kit.
Dry Brush or Rebounding or Red Light or none? You'll use The Lymphatic Assessment to guide the implementation of your perfect lymph routine.
MODULE 6: THE ORGANS + TISSUES
While all organs and tissues are important in drainage, we'll focus on the auxiliary drainage systems: the brain and kidneys.
The brain's glymphatic system can be supported using our tested solutions in The Drain Your Brain Kit, while the kidneys' filtering processes require more gentle care inside The Kidney Care Kit.
The Brain and Kidney + Bladder Assessments will help you understand to what extent you need to apply concepts like medicinal mushrooms, proteolytic enzymes, and electrolyte support.
MODLUE 7: THE CELLS
The organelles in our cells called "the mitochondria" serve as the power source for healing!
Learn about their origin story and the fundamental building blocks that nourish them in The Mighty Mitochondria Kit.
Do you understand the Krebs Cycle? The electron transport chain? Doing so will uncover a need to support the oft-overlooked concept of negative charge in the body.
Use The Cellular Assessment to judge your own needs for practices like earthing and hormetic stress.
MODULE 8: NEXT STEPS
Now that your entire drainage funnel is open and moving waste like a sweet machine, you're ready to think of what comes next.
Open drainage is just the beginning!
We'll walk you through a few ways to continue your journey through the Mitochondria Mastery Map: a couple of DIY ways and one amazing TLC way.
After this module, you'll know exactly where to go from here with your new toolset so you don't lose momentum.
JOIN TODAY!I'M READY!
What they're saying about drainage...
Client Wins Reported After 1 Month of Drainage:
From Colitis to easy digestion:
From hyper-sensitive to hardy and resilient:
From nauseous and insomnia to eating regularly and better sleep:
From no-appetite and POTS to improved GI symptoms and less heart palpitations.
There's more! You'll also get:
The Fulvics + Humics Guide
Learn to supplement with these healing substances that spark your mitochondria 'on'.
(A $200 value)
The Lymph Loosener
Move your lymph with ease using this easy how to guide.
(A $200 value)
The Magic Mushroom Guide
Are medicinal mushrooms right for you? Use our guide to tell you!
(A $200 value)
Detox Therapy Tutorials
Castor Oil Packs, Dry Brushing, Red Light, and more!
(A $500 value)
Meal Plans, Checklists, and Resource Guides
To keep you organized and well-equipped!
(A $300 value)
But wait! There's more...
When you join Funnel Flush today, you'll also get one more bonus course (a $400 value):
Inside of Probiotic Prowess, you'll gain access to the client favorite The 3 Amigos Masterclass, a 60 minute in-depth teaching where you'll learn how to use probiotics to detoxify, create synergy, and restore health at the gut and systemic level. We'll talk theory, physiology, and do literature reviews - with lots of silly metaphors to make it accessible.
You'll also get The Probiotic Prowess Protocol, which contains our proprietary 3-tiered supplement strategy to get your microbiome in ship-shape - fast.
This science-backed method is the only way to maximize the therapeutic value of probiotics while also minimizing the likelihood of any negative reactions.
Who is this for?
Can't get the bowels moving? We've got to regulate your nervous system and let go of harmful crutches.
No gallbladder? Gallstones? Can't digest your fat? The B-Fourmula will take care of that.
Why do microbes love your tissue? Follow-up: why do vermin hang out in trashcans? We've got to address the toxins before we address the critters.
When you react to everything your toxin bucket is full. Starting to empty it with the Flush Your Funnel method will easily breed more resilience.
In other words, if you suffer from any of these common symptoms:
- Feeling that bowels do not empty completely
- General or Chronic Fatigue
- Mood problems, anxiety, depression, or bipolar
- Poor brain processing (cognition)
- Chronic inflammation
- Wake up between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m.
- Edema, swelling or retain extra fluids
- Skin problems, rashes, itches, hives, eczema, or acne
- Yellowish skin, face
- Suppressed immune system
- Puffy Eyes
- Can’t clear infections despite pathogen protocols
- Sore or swollen breast tissue
- Heart palpitations or irregular heartbeat
- Light, sound, or EMF sensitivities
- Morning stiffness
- Brain Fog
- Swollen glands
- Cellulite or flabby skin
- Varicose or spider veins
- Kidney problems
- Breathing or lung issues
- Skin doesn’t sweat
...then Funnel Flush is for you, my friend!
Got questions? I've got answers!
When does Funnel Flush© start?
What if I struggle with "X condition"? Will Funnel Flush© help me?
What if I'm on medication?
Will the program take me all the way through the Mitochondria Map?
I’m pretty busy, will I have time for this?
How much will I need to spend on supplements, etc.?
I don't live in the US, can I still join?
More questions? Send them to [email protected]!
You don’t have to cross your fingers and hope that you’ll like this…
If the content in Funnel Flush truly doesn’t help you, simply email us within 48 hours of purchase and we will issue you a full refund.
After those 48 hours, you're stuck with us. (But I think you'll see that's a very good thing.) 😉
If you've read this far...
You're at a fork in the road:
You can continue to spend more time and energy trying to figure it out on your own...
Or, you can finally have a proven method for getting firmly on the road back to true, cellular health.
Imagine where you could be just one month from now…
You're ready to slay your body’s toxins and get those suckers out of your body for good.
You're ready to stop feeling like your digestion and body processes are so.darn.sluggish.
You're ready to poo twice a day, everyday.
You're ready for a way to see way more energy with a much simpler framework.
You're ready to restore function to the most foundational system in the body.